Jeopardy Clue of the Day for July 30th

Today’s Jeopardy (Teen Tournament) Clue of the Day:

The $600 clue from the Jeopardy round category YOU CAN QUOTE ME ON THAT

“AT HER INQUEST THIS WOMAN WHO INSPIRED A RHYME SAID, “I KNEW THERE WAS AN OLD AXE DOWN IN THE CELLAR. THAT IS ALL I KNEW””

Answer:

“WHO IS LIZZIE BORDEN?”

Dude, what the hell Trebek?! You’re gonna just leave us all hanging? Fine, I’ll Google that shit!

Who loves you more than me? Here you go:

Lizze Borden took an axe

And gave her mother forty whacks

When she saw what she had done

She gave her father forty-one

Damn, that thing’s pretty catchy.

Bonus Jeopardy (Teen Tournament) Clue of the Day:

The $1000 clue from the Jeopardy round category TRANSPORTATION

“THIS LIGHT RUSSIAN SLEIGH, WHOSE NAME MEANS “A GROUP OF 3”, IS PULLED BY 3 HORSES”

Answer:

“WHAT IS A TROIKA?”

Wow, epic fail on my part. I had no idea was the answer was here, even though I’m familiar with the phrase “Troika” and I’m like you know, Russian. But whatevs.

- Lenny

Inside My DVR: Hot Dog…The Movie

STATS

Title: Hot Dog…The Movie

Rated: R

Network: Flix West

Channel: 295

Date Recorded: Monday, July 13, 2009

Airing At: 3:45am

Running Time: 96 min

Guide Summary: “(1984), *, Rivalry among overgrown adolescents at a skiing competition in Squaw Valley, Cal. (Comedy)”

THOUGHTS

Boy they sure don’t make ‘em like this anymore. And I’ll tell you what, it’s a damn shame that they don’t! I mean, look at the fucken poster! Who wouldn’t wanna watch that?

First off, about 11 minutes in, you hear me – 11 minutes in(!), you’ve got not only the first of dozens of sets of tits, but you’ve also got bush! And it’s 80’s bush at that, so it should really count as four bush (bushes?) by today’s standards.

A mere 8 minutes later, we’re treated to a wet t-shirt contest (I use the word “contest” loosely, because when t-shirts are wetted, we’re all winners) hosted by “Lester the Molester” in a redneck bar, with no less than 11 contestants! The t-shirts are summarily discarded and it becomes a Wetitstravaganza^TM backed by the up-tempo Bluegrass styling's of a good ol’ boy band (I told you it was a redneck bar). And just why was this scene necessary? …I’m sorry, who let a feminist into my blog? It was necessary because it was 1984 and that’s the kind of shit that happened back then!

Let just get this out of the way right now, the plotting is pretty terrible and also, the two leads have absolutely no chemistry. Their “acting” is stiff, and their timing is frigid. Each scene they share plays like they just got their lines moments before the cameras rolled.

These leads are:

Patrick Houser, who is quite swoon-worthy, especially during a scene where he channels Keith Carradine circa Nashville with his own “I’m Easy” type guitar seduction. He plays Harkin Banks, a country bumpkin ski phenom from Bonners Ferry, Idaho, “where the men are men, and the sheep are nervous”.

And:

Tracy Smith who plays Sunny. Tracy possesses a natural beauty that was indicative of the era. Sadly, the most we see of her is some (substantial) side boob and a bit of ass. Her line “I ain’t going down on a guy at 65 miles an hour just for a crummy ride” begs the question, at what speed would she go down on a guy for a crummy ride?” Or is it not the speed of the car, but the gender of the driver? Hmm…

But I mean really, this movie has it all (in no particular order):

• That Poster!
• The “Kiss-Ass Blaster” – the ski jump equivalent of the “Triple Lindy”
• A German Victory Song
• A Snowball Ambush
• A rad 80’s soundtrack of “can-do!” themed power ballads
• The ubiquitous “Big Party” and the fabled “Private Tour”
• Storage room shenanigans and their end results
• A ridiculous “Chinese” Downhill free-for-all where our man Harkin is sent skiing into the open door of a building and out the other side, right through a plate glass window to win the race
• The broomball battle that inspired the classic - “we were small, but we were slow”
• And oh yeah, Shannon Tweed!!!

Shannon’s role here as Sylvia is pioneering. Not only does Shannon expose her hefty Tweeds (yay Women’s Lib! I guess feminists aren’t all bad), but also, this is the role that is invariably the grandmother of the current Cougar movement.

And Oh My God the stereotypes! It’s Stereotypes galore! There’s:

• Rudi Garmisch, the Asshole German with a Superiority Complex and yes-man cronies known as the “Rudettes”
• Dan O’Callahan, the washed-up star turned mentor who takes our hero under his wing
• Kendo Yamamoto, “Kamikaze”, the Japanese  national who wears a Rising Sun bandana throughout, doesn’t speak a word of English save for a comedic punch line leading into the films climax, and cracks open peanut shells via karate chop
• Squirrel Murphy, the stoner/druggie ski bum whose best pick-up line is “I suppose a fuck’s out of the question”
• Michelle, “Banana Pants”, the girl member of the crew who’s just one of the guys
• Slasher, the metalhead constantly cranking tunes on high through his headphones

And because no stereotype heavy movie would be complete without, we have:

• The Man, in this case - unethical ski officials

Despite the seeming knocks against it, Hot Dog had some clever and witty dialogue. Some selected favorites:

“You people, stay out of auur way! You may ski on zat side, oarr on zat side, but ztay out of zhe mittle heere!”

“Hey Rudi, you can kiss my ass. Not on this side, not on that side, but right in zhe middle!”

And this:

“I had Sunny zide up, and I had Sunny side down, unt I had Sunny zide all zhe way around.”

And also this, a Cat Fight turned plot-of-a-scene-I-desperately-wish-had-been-included (between Shannon Tweed and Tracy Smith when Sylvia comes across Sunny’s first attempt at skiing):

“I saw you fall. I thought I could stop and give you a few pointers.”

“Yeah, you’ve got a couple, so why don’t you point ‘em that way and crawl out of my sight!”

“Ah, you gotta learn to bend your knees.”

“Get your momma to bend ‘er knees, I don’t have time.”

“That way you could suck up the bumps.”

“Tehehehehe. Ahhh you do know how to do that don’t you?!”

“Here let me give you a hand…I can see why Harkin likes you.”

“Oh I get it, switch hitter. First Harkin and now me. You really are a sicko lady.”

“Maybe you and Harkin and we can all, uh, get together later.”

But lest we forget, this is, above all else a ski movie. Now, I don’t know squat about skiing, but from a laymen’s viewpoint, the ski footage was pretty damn spectacular, especially the Ski Ballet scenes (does anyone still do this?). Something really nice to look at in a movie filled with really nice things to look at.

This movie is great because it’s unapologetic in it’s awesomeness as an R-rated ski comedy, and dammit we need more movies like this. A movie where we can check our brains at the door and just embrace the excess.

The 1980’s - when the movies were bad and we loved them for it.

Now before I go, there is one real gripe I have about this flick and it’s that Vicky, the “Girl in Gondola” played by Victoria Rae Miller, wearing the easy access red sweater, never let’s her Rae Millers out to breathe – did she forget what movie she was in?!

Come on!

- Lenny

Jeopardy Clue of the Day for July 29th

Some days my choices are based on the clue. Other days, they’re based on the answers. And still other days, they’re based on a combination of the two. To fully appreciate today’s clue you need to all but forget the answer.

Today’s Jeopardy (Teen Tournament) Clue of the Day:

The $800 clue from the Jeopardy round category GIRL SCOUT BADGES

“EARNING THE “IN THE PINK” BADGE HELPS RAISE AWARENESS OF THIS DISEASE IN ADULT WOMEN”

Answer:

“WHAT IS BREAST CANCER?”

I almost feel like there’s a Jeopardy staffer that’s passive aggressively trying to get fired. I mean this clue feels like a setup for Darrell Hammond’s Sean Connery in an SNL “Celebrity Jeopardy” skit. “In the Pink”? Not that I’m complaining, but nobody had any problems with that? This is just like South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut - no double entendres there either, huh fellas?

And I thought the Fosbury Flop sounded dirty, sheesh!

Alex, I’ll take THE PENIS MIGHTIER…

- Lenny

Lenny Explains…Italy

How much do you love me right now? Yet another new column!

Welcome to Lenny Explains... Other names thrown around for this series included “Lenny Breaks Down:”, “Lenny Breaks it Down”, “Lenny Explains it All:”, and “What Lenny Knows About…”.

We’ll see, maybe I’ll end up changing it, but for now, Lenny Explains…Italy!

This series was inspired by an exchange I had on a “friends” Facebook page. He’s a guy I used to play hockey with before he quit our team midseason. Now he’s living in Italy. Another friend asked him if he was going to be coming back next season to play on the team, which prompted me to post this comment:

“…the better question is, even if his is coming, do you want him? The deserter hasn't played in over a year. He's been living in Italy, eating pizza seven times a day. He's completely useless.”

Which in turn drew this comment from a fourth party:

“Italy is not that bad.... :(”

And this one:

“and we don't eat pizza seven times a day...”

And I commented some more and it was a whole back and forth.

So now, I’m gonna explain Italy. To be sure, I’m no neophyte, I spent about 3 months living there earlier in my life. And here’s the photographic evidence:

Italy

Okay first, because it was already mentioned, and because I fucken love it, Italy is where Pizza comes from, yay!! Yum! True story, while looking for pictures of pizza to use here, I was so overcome with pizza desire that I had to stop writing and go get some. Like I said, yum!

 

Ferrari! Ferrari’s, like pizza also come from Italy. Sadly, unlike the pizza, I couldn’t go out and get one of these…you know, cause I had to get this article finished, duh. Ferrari’s are exquisite works of art that you can actually play with, not like a stupid painting. These are probably more yum than pizza.

 

Monica Bellucci. Monica Bellucci. Monica Bellucci. This woman oozes sex. It seeps from every fiber of her being. If Helen of Troy was the face that launched a thousand ships, then Monica Bellucci is the body that inspired a thousand lustful thoughts…in me…right now.

Monica too is a product of Italy, though a major point of contention in my Facebook battle is just how Italian she is now (my conclusion – who cares? Just look at her!). Monica is a woman of the people. Always giving the people what they want – her, naked, onscreen. It’s harder to find a movie where she isn’t naked then to find one where she is, and more power to her. I would have said God bless her right there, but clearly, he already has.

Monica Bellucci, Italian. Tastier than the pizza, and more fun to play with than the Ferrari. (Monica, if you ever run for office, you have my permission to use that quote as a campaign slogan.) And with that, I declare Monica yummiest of the three. More proof of that below. (click to enlarge)

 

 

Now my final point by way of explaining Italy:

Italy – it’s the country shaped like a French whore’s Fuck Me!

They should put that on the currency.

And that my friends is all there is to know about Italy.

- Lenny

Jeopardy Clue of the Day for July 28th

Today’s Jeopardy (Teen Tournament) Clue of the Day:

The $2000 clue from the Double Jeopardy round category GUINNESS RECORDS

“WITH A DESIGNED SPEED OF 128 MPH, THE FASTEST OF THESE RIDES IS KINGDA KA AT SIX FLAGS IN NEW JERSEY”

Answer:

“WHAT IS A ROLLER COASTER?”

I love roller coasters!!! And really who doesn’t, but I gotta go to Jersey to ride the fastest one? What kinda bullshit is that? But then again, it’s probably the only thing they’ve got going for them.

- Lenny

Inside My DVR: Exodus Decoded

Inside My DVR – this is a new ongoing column where I will discuss different shit I’ve recorded. I use the word “discuss” because these won’t necessarily be reviews per se. For this column I figure on focusing more on one-off type programs. So either obscure movies that practically no one has seen, or perhaps not so obscure movies that I simply haven’t seen yet, or more prevalently specials and events.

I may also write about the weekly’s I watch, as I did with Z Rock here, and there are many of them, but I just won’t be doing it in this column.

Today’s topic falls into that Specials category.

STATS

Title: Exodus Decoded

Network: History Channel HD

Channel: 439

Date Recorded: Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Airing At: 11:00am

Running Time: 120 min

Guide Summary: “Documentarian Simcha Jacobovici defends the veracity of the biblical account of the Jews arrival in Egypt, enslavement and the Exodus claiming that scholars have misdated the Exodus, which he believes occurred in 1500 B.C. (Documentary)”

 

THOUGHTS

Okay, first a little off topic, but I love the History Channel. I actually had recorded 2 other shows that were on before this one, got erased by newer shows before I got a chance to watch them and I’m super pissed. One was about the assassination of Lincoln and the other was something called the St. Valentine’s Massacre about some 1930’s era Chicago mobsters that got got. Anyway…

Simcha, you got me. I’m convinced. This was a well put together and through examination. Despite being the devout biblical scholar that I am, I was sitting there watching this going, “And then what happened? Crap another commercial. Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip. Shit too far.”

Look, I don’t know Exodus from Leviticus from Genesis, but this doc really held my attention. Jacobovici has made some claims of, dare I say, biblical proportions. Among them:

• Exodus actually happened 200 years earlier than everyone thought
• The Ark of the Covenant (as in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark) exists and may very well be hidden away in a warehouse somewhere
• It wasn’t the Red Sea that was parted, it was the Reed Sea because everyone’s been getting the translation wrong this whole time
• He explains how the 10 plagues occurred and how the Sea was parted
• Oh, and he claims to have found the actual Mt. Sinai, the same Mt. Sinai atop which God gave Moses the 10 Commandments

So as you can see, it was no small undertaking he had in front of him. But dammit, if he doesn’t go on to explain and detail his reasoning behind each and every one of these points (and more).

If he wasn’t a documentarian but a guy in the street making these claims, we would all think he had just escaped from the nuthouse. But with the help of a myriad of scholars and scientists from professors to theologians to geologists to archaeologists to James “Terminator” Cameron, Jacobovici can make even the greatest of skeptics doubt all they knew to be true.

All that being said, a quick check of IMDB tells us that this was originally released in 2006. So my question is, what the hell?! Why have we not heard of this? Why is this not a huge revelation (no pun intended)? Have the scientific and theological communities debunked his claims in the three years that have passed?

I mean as I was watching this I kept thinking, “how has nobody ever figured this out until now?” And as we were shown all the degreed talking heads back up Jacobovici’s claims, I couldn’t help but wonder just how renowned these men really were.

Were these men truly experts? Or were these the guys that the real experts laughed and snickered at? How revered were they in their individual fields? I obviously had no way of knowing. And like I said early on, I’m a believer, but still the questions persisted.

And that, I think is where the brief inclusion of James Cameron worked it charms. It gave this doc a feeling of legitimacy. The rationale being that Cameron wouldn’t put his face and name on something that was bunk. So for the common folk like myself, it was a big plus.

This doc’s piece de resistance which is teased at the beginning and not revealed for about an hour and fifty minutes is a small gold artifact/etching/carving that is a mere bauble without the perspective that only Jacobovici brings. It really it comes to life (literally, with the help of some excellent 3d imagery) once he shows us what he sees.

Overall, if you’re into things historical, this was a fascinating special that made many controversial theories, but backed them up with evidence to support it’s claims. In Cameron’s introduction, he tells us that Jacobovici has been working on this for over 10 years. It was a daunting task at which he excelled, leaving us with no lingering doubts, save for the question of the existence/location of the Ark of the Covenant.

- Lenny

Jeopardy Clue of the Day for July 27th

Today’s Jeopardy Clue of the Day:

The $600 clue from the Jeopardy round category “HIGH” ANXIETY

“IT’S THE SPORTING EVENT YOU’RE COMPETING IN IF YOU PERFORM THE FOSBURY FLOP”

Answer:

“WHAT IS THE HIGH JUMP”

I just like this one because “Fosbury Flop” sounds dirty, like a Rusty Trombone or a Dirty Sanchez. And during the Teen Tournament no less!

- Lenny

Lenny Vs. Boob Power

Welcome to my newest series “Lenny Vs.” I even made a logo. You like?

I come across many articles that I have issues with. Or, maybe “have issues with” isn’t quite right, I mean, yes, some I may have issues with, while others I have questions about, and still others I simply want to comment on and/or add my own insight.

The titles of each post of this series will be “Lenny Vs.” and then the article title.

As you can see, for my first outing I take on “Boob Power”, an article at Nerve.com by Bianca Merbaum (read it for yourself here). Being a lover of all things mammary, it seemed a natural choice to kick off this column.

In the article Bianca experiments to see if flaunting her impressive assets (quantified below) will get her things. Um, yes, yes it will. In spades. Without having to ask. And more than you asked for if you did ask.

“The last time I checked my size I was a 36DD, but according to my bra fitter, Chauntelle, I was a 30F.”

Bianca, you hard me at had me at, had me at, you had me at 36DD, but good lord…30F?!??!! How you doin’?

On a side note, I have a new personal hero and her name is Chauntelle. A great human being who has found a way to get paid to do something that I would do for free.

Is it possible to will a job to somebody? I mean I know with royalty when the King dies, his son the Prince steps up. But it is possible that if Chauntelle were to meet an untimely demise, she could deed her position as bra fitter to, oh I don’t know, maybe someone that considers her a personal hero? Anyway…

Bianca goes on to write:

“Hot damn! I thought, admiring my protruding cleavage. For the first time, my breasts were…looking instead like balls of plump, peach-colored cushion. There was something incredibly appealing about the supple curves of my chest, the soft bounce of them when I moved and the subtle crease in the middle.”

Excuse me, I think I need a minute…

…

…

…(baseball stats)…

…

…

…(Rosie O’Donnell)…

…

…

…(starving kids in Africa)…

…

…

…(Paris Hilton).

Okay I’m good.

I think Bianca’s sweet. A sweet large breasted naive little thing. Naive because any woman that would wonder, let alone not know unequivocally that boobs make the world go ‘round must have lived a sheltered life.

Given her last name and the fact that she uses “shvitzing” in the article, I’m guessing she just recently escaped the Orthodoxy and is experiencing her own Jewish form of Rumspringa.

What’s more, she doesn’t even really test the theory out. Her first experiment was trying to see if men would sign a petition to save bananas for the monkeys. Sweetie, with the right amount of cleave, a straight guy would sign a petition claiming his mother was a whore.

As for her second experiment, where she sees how many free drinks she can get:

“…gone to a bar flaunting my cleavage…”

And:

“…I brought a friend of mine whose boobs, next to mine, looked like corn kernels.”

She says that she meets a guy outside that “eye-fucks” her (a Jewish girl with F-cups and a mouth like a sailor – I suddenly have this overwhelming urge to belt out a rendition of Hava Nagila while dancing the Hora) and continues to ply her with $14 drinks all night. While her friend, she says, only gets one free drink from a gay guy.

As a result she claims her experiment a success. I say at best it’s incomplete. You see, as any guy will tell you, even those like me who prefer breasts of the “bigger is better” variety (so long as they’re natural), it’s not the size of the breast that matters, it’s the willingness of the girl to let me touch them. I’m more willing to chat up a lady with smaller breasts if I think I have a chance at meeting them, than a blessed girl with whose breasts I shall never be acquainted.

So you see, we were given no indication as to how her friend with the “corn kernels” was dressed or behaving, whereas Bianca’s own admission that she was flaunting her cleavage would lead most guys to believe that she was down to fuck. Unless of course she was of the much maligned cocktease variety of woman. Plus the fact that Bianca wouldn’t have shot any guy down that night, if only for the sake of the experiment. So therefore again, experiment incomplete.

If there was one bright spot that came out of the article/experiment, it is this:

“For me, it was an empowering epiphany, and removed any lingering thoughts I had of getting breast-reduction surgery.”

If this article had ended with her getting the surgery, or even still considering it, I very well may have cried. Five feet tall with F-cups is a-okay in my book!

- Lenny

Jeopardy Clue of the Day for July 25th

Today’s Jeopardy Clue of the Day:

The $800 clue from the Jeopardy round category HODGEPODGE

“IN “THE SEVEN-PER-CENT SOLUTION”, THIS LITERARY CHARACTER IS TREATED BY SIGMUND FREUD FOR DRUG ADDICTION”

Answer:

“WHO IS SHERLOCK HOLMES?”

Dude, Sherlock M. Holmes! Know what the “M.” stands for? Motherfucken, as in SHERLOCK MOTHERFUCKEN HOLMES!!! Guy Ritchie’s flick is gonna kick so much ass! It’s easily my most anticipated movie of the year. Robert Downey Jr. as Holmes?! Perfect. Plus Jude Law as Watson is icing on the cake!

Bonus Jeopardy Clue of the Day:

The $600 clue from the Jeopardy round category TIME TO “BEG” FOR IT

“TO MISLEAD BY TRICKERY OR FLATTERY”

Answer:

“WHAT IS TO BEGUILE?”

I know, I know, nothing too outstanding about this clue per se, but I’m a fan of the word “trickery” and the images it conjures up. Trickery! I will beguile you with my trickery! Are you beguiled yet?

- Lenny

Jeopardy Clue of the Day for July 24th

First I'd just like to point out that it was announced on today's show, that this was the last show of their 25th season. Figures, two days after I create a new column based around the show, it goes on hiatus. Terrific. Anyway, I assume they'll be showing re-runs, I guess I'll Clue of the Day those until I hit a repeat.

Today's Jeopardy Clue of the Day:

The $400 clue from the Double Jeopardy round category MARTIAL

"THIS MARTIAL ART MEANING "SUPREME ULTIMATE FIST" USES SLOW MOVEMENTS THAT HARMONIZE WITH BREATHING"

Answer:

"WHAT IS THAI CHI?"

Wow. Am I the only one that was super stoked at hearing "Supreme Ultimate Fist", only to be supremely ultimately let down upon finding out it was referring to Thai Chi?

- Lenny

Jeopardy Clue of the Day (Inaugural Post)

I've been watching Jeopardy on and off for many years, but it wasn't until recently that I started recording it and watching it daily.

With my current case of Jeopardy immersion, I thought it would be fun to share my favorite clue of each given days broadcast.

Today's clue is what inspired me to create this new on-going series for the site.

So without any further ado...

Today's Jeopardy Clue of the Day:

The $200 clue from the Jeopardy round category KILLED BY DEATH

"AROUND 207 B.C. THE GREEK STOIC PHILOSOPHER CHRYSIPPUS DIED THIS WAY WHILE WATCHING A DRUNK DONKEY EAT FIGS"

Answer:

"WHAT IS LAUGHING?"

I'm just so unbelievably excited that I get to have this clue be the one that kicks off this series.

I mean really, it has everything - death, laughter, Greeks Philosophers, drunk donkeys, and even figs! What more could anyone ask for?

- Lenny

Summer Lovin'

I am one of the lucky few people who is privileged with proximity.

 

In this case, it is my proximity to a movie theatre (4 actually) showing (500) Days of Summer, which is currently in limited release.

I've read a lot of internet reviews calling this one of the best of 2009. And it is…

But that just isn't enough.

Normally, when asked what I thought of a movie, I stay in shades of gray. For example, if asked about a movie I enjoyed I'll generally elicit a response along these lines. "I liked it, it was good" (Public Enemies), or even "I really liked it a lot, it was great, you should watch it" (JJ Abrams Star Trek). When pressed for a response to a movie I didn't enjoy, I'll typically answer "Nah, I didn't like it, but I don't know, you might" (Drag Me To Hell), or perhaps "Eh, it was pretty stupid" (Transformers 2), or even "That shit sucked! It was fucken terrible!! Save your money." (Max Payne).

I feel that with film, there aren't too many opportunities to stray into the black and white territory, into the Love It or Hate It realm. Plus love and hate are two extremely powerful emotions that most folks are wise enough not to throw around too loosely. Also there's the simple fact that most films tend to fall somewhere in the middle, into that aforementioned gray area.

Rarely are we burdened by a movie that bludgeons our intellect, a movie that's an insult to the very art form that gave it life. The last movie that I truly hated was The Happening, which ironically enough, also starred Zooey Deschanel.

But sadly, on the flip side of that coin, we are likewise rarely treated to such delights, cinematic or otherwise that they are to become a reference point for the rest of our lives, a thing we judge all others against.

Well my friends, today I've gained a new reference point. (500) Days of Summer just so happens to be one of these delights. It's the kind of film that makes you think you must have done something right in your life to have been fortunate enough to discover it.

 

"It's official...I'm in love with Summer." I loved (500) Days of Summer. It is one of my new favorite movies, deservedly joining the ranks of Stranger Than Fiction and Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.

It's clever and imaginative, and charming as all hell.

This wonderful film is all things at all times, witty and heartbreaking, sensible and intoxicating. It's whimsical and it's brutally honest. It's is an adult film that can also be quite silly.

But above all else, this film is precious. You want to sing it's praises from the rooftops.

Seeing this film, you feel like you've just experienced this little slice of perfection. It's like you're in on this huge secret that nobody else knows. In many ways, my feelings for this film equal the feelings Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) had for Summer (Zooey Deschanel) the first time he saw her. I had just beheld something incredibly special. It makes your heart flitter.

I've been infatuated with Zooey ever since Elf. And I've been a supporter of Joseph's since having seen him in Brick, with my opinion only being all the more solidified by his role in The Lookout. I simply wanted to preface my saying that the casting here is beyond spectacular, and I dare anyone to point out an actor that would have been better suited to play either of these roles.

This story is told from Tom's perspective, but there is so much more to it than a story about "the one that got away". If we're being sticklers, it's really more "the one" getting away. That being said though, Zooey is more than just "the one that got away" nor is she mere eye candy, despite being heavily qualified (i.e. she's purty). I mean to say, she's no one dimensional character and though we can't quite figure her out, it's not for lack of character development. On the contrary, it's due to how well Summer is fleshed out that while we aren't figuring her out, we know exactly why it is that we can't. Summer's parents divorce in her early years damaged her emotionally, and so she's built up these walls so that she can never be hurt again.

Zooey brings a tenderness to this role that makes Summer accessible and when she in turn bestows some hurt of her own on Tom, it's that tenderness that keeps us from hating her.

Joseph's affability is what compels us to continue to root for Tom even when he doesn't act in ways deserving of our support. That and the fact that we've all been where he's at. We've all been so crazy about another person that we couldn't see straight, let alone think straight or act rationally.

Things here aren't neat and tidy, because life and relationships aren't neat and tidy.

If it isn't obvious, for me, personally, this film is highly relatable in it's entirety. But two specific instances especially ring true. First, this quote:

"People don't realize this but loneliness…it's underrated."

Loneliness I feel is a high perch from where you can sit and observe. It allows you to learn and to figure things out that you might not have otherwise. If you truly embrace loneliness, then you don't jump at the first opportunity to come along, simply because it's knocking. You figure out the things that you want and the things that you would refuse to put up with. Until of course…

"There's no such thing as love. It's a fantasy. What exactly is it I'm missing?"

"You'll know it when you feel it."

I've only had one real relationship. It lasted a little over a year and a half, and while I said that word many a time, I can now honestly say, looking back, that I never felt it.

This is where that "until of course…" comes into play. Because many years later I was introduced to someone, and my reaction to her was near identical to Tom's when Summer first walks in. I was mesmerized. Everything I thought I had learned and figured out while sitting on my perch of loneliness was thrown out the window. Unfortunately, my story doesn't have an ending, or really even a beginning (yet). I just needed to say that I felt it, and I knew it when I did.

Lastly, I want to thank the filmmakers for, on top of everything else, showing us a Downtown L.A. that I think few people ever really get to see. This is coming from a (practically) native Angelino. I've seen plenty of Downtown, and believe me, you don't want to see my version of it. The Downtown of (500) Days of Summer is so lovingly depicted that at first I thought it was set in an Allen-esque New York. But it's not. You see that skyline? My newest favorite movie is set in my city. (500) Days of Summer…in L.A.

Despite all I've written here, it's movies like these that I'm most hesitant to write about because I know that my words won't do it any justice. I want people to see this film so they can be in on the secret with me.

It doesn't happen often, but sometimes all the stars align, and when they do, we're blessed with true gems like (500) Days of Summer. If it's playing near you, do yourself a favor and go see it, and if it's not playing near you, make the drive.

As a final parting thought, I leave you with this pearl of wisdom – "penis"

- Lenny

Contest Time

Okay, so what better way to kick off the launch of my bright shiny blog than with a bright shiny contest? Winner gets a [picture of a] bright shiny penny! Promise.

The winner will be the first person who correctly points out my subtle tip of the hat to the Roots, which is strategically placed somewhere within the pages here at APFL.

To be eligible you will need to provide us with the what and the where, in the comments below.

*Please note: the above mention of the Roots in this very post is. not. it.

Yay, bright shiny penny-ish!

Good Luck.

- Lenny

Remembering Walter Cronkite

I am a man just shy of 31 years, the Walter Cronkite era was before my time.

As such, my words will be scant and I instead urge you all to view the videos available here. There will be a retrospective on CBS this Sunday (7/19/09) at 7:00pm.

I did not know the man that was the legend, though I think we all know the legend that was the man.

The one word that both man and legend are most synonymous with - integrity.

It is a word that doesn't come up too often when discussing our modern day journalists.

We look to the news to be informed, to be educated, to be taught.

As with all teachers, we put our trust in these journalists.

Few people have earned the level of trust, or have been able to live up to that trust in the way that Walter Cronkite had.

He did not editorialize, he just gave it to us straight.

Walter was America's teacher.

He has been sorely missed as a part of the world of journalism since his retirement in 1981.

Now, he will simply be sorely missed as a part of the world.

Walter Cronkite, November 4, 1916 - July 17, 2009

"And that's the way it is."

Eternal damnation is in my future

Yeah, at this point, it's pretty much a done deal. ED (eternal damnation, not erectile dysfunction) is awaiting me. Actually, with my super-awesome-don't-get-jealous-now-luck, I can probably look forward to both. Anywho...

I was watching a show last night (the night before last?), no yeah, the night before last, and during a commercial break, there was a tease for that evenings local news. It was my involuntary utterance that sealed my fate.

They showed a picture of a busted up small Cessna type aircraft, paired with this voiceover by the anchor:

"Plane crashes killing all on board. What brought it down? Find out at 11."

"Uh, gravity."

- Lenny

Reader Poll

Now that I own "But Here's The Thing" should I abandon "A Penny For Lenny" in favor of it?

Not that what you all say is final, but I would take it under advisement.

Feel free to comment below.

Anyone that suggests I instead create a new blog entitled "But Here's A Penny For Lenny" will be sharply reprimanded.

Thanks.

- Lenny

Definition of a Blog...

...Courtesy of CBS's NCIS, or to be more accurate, courtesy of a rerun of it on USA.

A Co-Ed explains to Agent Gibbs (Mark Harmon) what a blog is, in this exchange from a 2006 episode entitled "Twisted Sister":

Co-Ed: ...she trashed me in her blog.

Gibbs (perpelexed): Blog?

Co-Ed: Yeah.

Gibbs (no less perplexed): What's a blog?

Co-Ed: It's a, b-blog, you know.

Gibbs (very matter-of-factly): No, I don't know.

Co-Ed: It's s-something losers put online so that everyone can read...

So there you have it.

-Lenny (the loser)

**And no, I don't watch NCIS, I'm not that cool. It just happened to be playing in the background as I was blogging of all things.

We're a Brooklyn Baaaaand!

Okay, so, it seems I'm a little late to the party that is IFC's Z Rock. I blame it on the guy driving the pedicab I took who looked an awful lot like Twisted Sister's Dee Snider. At any rate, in the case of this quirky and offbeat gem, it's better late than never.

 

Intro

I knew nothing about this show going in. I saw an ad ahead of the trailers of movie I went to see. I thought it was funny, went home and added it to my DVR. Sometimes it really is that simple. After having watched a few episodes, I started looking for info in this show. Especially after the end of episode tags advertising Z02's most recent album (Casino Logic) being in stores. 'Hold on a sec' I thought, 'these guys actually have an album out'??!

Well, let me just say, Google is no friend of Z Rock. Or at least no friend of Z Rock the TV show, having brought listing upon listing of Z Rock radio station affiliate websites. Okay, no problem, how about Entertainment Weekly. Sorry, no dice, zero results. Ain't It Cool News? Success! Yes? Success? No! 5 listings...all having to do with DVD release dates and/or premiere dates.

Picking up bits and pieces here and there, mainly from IFC's own televised promos, and a two sentence IMDB plot summary written by "anonymous", this is what I was able to gather and believe to be fact about the story behind the show:

Paulie Zablidowski, his brother David, and their life long friend Joey Cassata are in a New York (presumably Brooklyn) rock band named Z02. Now they play themselves in a show somewhat about themselves.

That my friends is all I can say I know to be true.

Upon Further Digging

As for the yin to Z02's yang, the Z Brothers, I don't know for a fact that this second band existed prior to the show. I believe there probably was/is a second, tamer band these three were/are a part of, but were they named Z Brothers prior to the show, and did they only play young childrens parties? Did they also play Bar/Bat Mitzvahs? How about Proms? All valid questions left to be answered by someone with some true journalistic clout, i.e. someone whose readership reaches at least into the double digits. Not that it will help any, but here's the show summary from IFC's official Z Rock site:

"Rock band by night. Kids band by day.

Z ROCK is a comedy series that follows three friends leading a double life: by night they're a hard-partying rock band and by day they're a kids party band. Z ROCK is (kinda) based on the true story of the band Z02 (brothers Paulie Z and David Z, and lifelong friend Joey Cassata) and gives a satirical look at the dark underbelly of the rock n' roll dream.

Paulie (vocals), David (bass guitar), and Joey (drums) are average, Brooklyn born-and-bred neighborhood guys doing what it takes to avoid menial jobs to pay the rent. By day, they re-invent themselves as Z Brothers: THE band to book in New York City - if you want your trust-fund five-year-old to be the envy of every blue blood in school."

Kinda? Kinda! "Z Rock is (kinda) based on the true story of the band Z02..." Well gee, thanks a lot, that clears everything up. I mean, I don't know, I've only been watching the episodes on IFC, maybe there's a documentary on the season 1 DVD that expalins it all.

A Heady Comparison

But regardless, let me just say that the lack of media exposure is a bit of a head scratcher. Z Rock could easily be compared to Entourage, another show of which I'm a fan. Imagine Z Rock as Entourage, but before the boys went off to Hollywood. Not like last season's New York set finale, where Vince was already famous, but imagine it as if Vince was maybe still taking acting classes, and had maybe only landed a few national commercials before getting the lead in Head On and moving to L.A. That's the best comparison I can think of for people not versed in Z (however it requires they be versed in V E D & T).

Okay, it seems I may have gotten a bit ahead of myself. I hope I haven't lost any of you along the way. Let me get down to the basics.

The Rundown

Z Rock focuses on the members of the rock band Z02, two Jews and an Italian (make up your own punchlines), the (biological) brothers Paulie (guitar and lead vocals), & David (bass), and their life long friend Joey (drums). To make ends meet until their big break comes, they play kids parties as their alter ego The Z Brothers. Z Brothers by day, Z02 by night, see what I meant about the whole yin/yang?

They are of course helped along the way on their journey to stardom. Most notably by their tenacious and dogged manager Dina, played by the fiery Lynne Koplitz. Joing them is Neil (Jay Oakerson), a small time club owner and would-be suitor to Paulie (would-be if only Paulie wouldn't keep rejecting his advances). Also along for the ride is a laudry list of eclectic greats from the music (anyone from Dee Snider to Dave Navarro to John Popper to Daryl Hall) and comedy worlds, with comedians some playing themselves and others in character, many in recurring roles, among them, Joan Rivers, Gilbert Gottfried, Jim Norton, Patrice O'Neal, Dave Attell, Greg Giraldo, Jeffrey Ross, basically anyone that had ever appeared on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. Worth nothing, Koplitz and Oakerson both began their careers as stand-ups.

They All Play A Role

Paulie's the soul of the show and the band, and the level head, the equivilant of Entourage's E. David is the ladies man, the player, the Vince of the show. Joey, well, Joey's the short fuse and the eccentric, the guy who has to have things a certain way, our very own Johnny Drama. Dina is the manager who will fuck, or fuck over just about anyone to help her boys get ahead. She easily gives Ari a run for his money as TV's biggest prick. And finally, a Turtle by any other name would be called Neil, however Turtle is far more intrinsic to the Entourage story than Neil is to Z Rock.

Neil is by far the weakest and most forced of the characters. The unneeded comic relief, throwing out dick jokes for a funny, though cheap, laugh. I say unneeded because the four leads (I'm counting Dina here) are just so damn comedicly strong. Three of my personal favorite bits are Paulie's imagined imitation of Gilbert Gottfried's son, Paulie's Kramer (from Seinfeld) impression, fabled enterance & all, and Joey's man crush on wrestler Chris Jericho.

Why It's So Damn Great

I want to stop for a minute because I don't feel I'm doing the show justice in my summation, and really words just can't. It's a show you have to watch and watch not once. And no, it isn't in the least bit a ripoff of Entourage, though the parallels are unquestionably there.

What works best is that there's such a refreshingly natural chemistry amongst our three leads. You feel it's a shear consequence of their personal history, and could never have been pulled off otherwise. Again, I don't know how scripted this "semi-scripted" series is. Obviously they didn't randomly happen upon Frank Stallone's van for sale, but if even a quarter of the dialogue is written, those writers have many prosperous years ahead of them in this industry. Because it's the dialogue more than anything else that endears these characters to us. And their interplay with each other is again (for lack of a more fitting word) natural and symbiotic. Rarely has the phrase "the sum of the parts is greater than the whole" been more appropriate.

But we can't ignore Koplitz here, she simultaneously exudes both attraction and replusion in such a way that, while I'm sure I want to put things inside of her, I'm not sure what things those are, nor where I want to put them. A vile and tasteless sentiment no doubt, but one that I'm sure would make, if not the actress, then at least the character, blush.

Because that's what kind of show this is.

There's sex. There's language. There's nudity. And there's a whole hell of a lot of Rock 'n Roll.

And lest I forget the show's biggest star, there's the city. This show is unapologetically New York. It's Allen-esque (as in Woody) in it's love affair with the city. Another parallel to Entourage's love affair with Los Angeles. I'm no New Yorker, but this show makes me wish I was. I actually googled Hill Country after a recent episode, just to see if the place was real.

And if that doesn't do enough to explain this show to you, maybe this will:

 The above being my favorite activity excerpt from the downloadable Z Rock Activity Book. Just like that other prolific New York favorite, The Wu-Tang Clan, Z Rock is for the babies!

Watch it now. Thank me later.

- Lenny

What did I think of Public Enemies?

Okay, short answer, I liked it and recommend it. The casting and performances are spot on from top to bottom. Johnny Depp and Christian Bale are in top form as is to be expected. Equally great is the wholly underrated (in my opinion) Billy Crudup, in the too brief role of J. Edgar Hoover. However, I feel the real standout of the, let's call them second tier of actors, was Stephen Graham as the unhinged Babyface Nelson. Graham is probably most famous to audiences as Jason Statham's right hand man Tommy, in Guy Ritchie's Snatch. All that being said though, I'm a Michael Mann fanboy, so he can rarely do wrong by me, and yes, that was the short answer.

Long answer, well, first off, this isn't a "summer" movie and would have been better served opening in the fall. By that, I mean that despite a Mann signature shootout a la Heat, this isn't a popcorn movie. It's performance driven, not efx/explosion driven as is the case with 90% of mainstream summer movies. As such, the decision to release it during these summer months, I feel does it a disservice, and I suspect that it will get a limited re-release come December. I don't feel that the majority of summer movie audiences have the attention required to fully appreciate this film. Which brings me to my next point.

I bought the book by Bryan Burrough that the movie is based on when it first came out four or five years ago. I got about 220-250 pages into it, which is about a 3rd of the way through and had to stop because there was just too much information to absorb. The incestuous nature of these depression era crooks made it difficult to follow if you're not reading it daily. I vowed to start over with a pen and pad so I could take notes. I haven't done that yet, but I fully intend to, as it's a fascinating read.

As a result, in my opinion, it should have been an HBO miniseries as was originally intended. With that much information available, the movie, while great, just didn't do justice to book. The movie could have more fittingly been titled "The John Dillinger Story," or simply "Public Enemy," singular. I mean, just take a look at that poster above, it's of the lone and solitary figure, John Dillinger and no others.

So, if you're a fan of any of the actors I've mentioned, go see it. If you're a fan of true crime stories, go see it. If you're a fan of Mann, you won't be disappointed, so go see it. However, if you're in the mood for a true "summer" popcorn movie, go see Transformers 2, but only if you're not prone to seizures, or movies with discernible plots.

- Lenny

My blogging background and my intentions for APFL

My first real blog was my now defunct site godspunchline.com (today: an erectile dysfunction medication destination). I fully intend to re-post some of those articles here on APFL...if I can find them.

Godspunchline was great in that it gave me an opportunity to write, which I love doing (but can't get anyone to pay for doing it). The problem was that, despite an overwhelmingly loyal readership of three, I often times treated it like a puppy that had outgrown it's cuteness. Abandoning it for months on end with no literary nourishment. I believe my main obstacle in being a more attentive blogger was the fact that I had set up the website using Microsoft's Front Page. I know nothing of HTMLing or CSSing or PHPing. I'm a one-trick pony, I just know how to write, but Front Page wasn't the right stable for my one trick (talk about sticking with a metaphor!).

Anyway, as any non-maliciously neglectful owner would do, I gave godspunchline away to people that would take better care of it, in this case, the penis pill industry.

And so, I languished in the real world with thoughts and ideas, but no outlet for them. Then one day my brother started a website.

Behindthehype.com became the new cyberhome to my wit and insight. What I didn't know at the time was how temporary a home it would be. More of a by-the-hour motel than a home really, and as such, I left soon after arriving, at a time I felt was appropriate for me. I posted under the name "Lenny," and some of my real gems still reside on that site, including my vivisection of Sarah Palin following the Vice Presidential debate back in October.

Though if you do check it out, the one sticking point I have is with a post attributed to me that was published well past my departure, the one about the "Top 19 Movie Titles". While all the words contained within are mine and I own up to them, and while for all intents and purposes the article was complete, or at least very near completion, the reason I never published it during my tenure was because I didn't really like it. I didn't feel it was my best work, an example of which is the aforementioned Palin article, nor did I feel it was my best premise, or execution of a premise. Both of which I feel are embodied in my "The Perfect Halloween Movie" article. So again, if you check out my writings at Behindthehype, I have officially disavowed the "Top 19 Movie Titles" article.

The difference in my content output between GP and BTH are particularly night and day. GP was a personal site and afforded me or some might say hindered me in the fact that I was it's lord and savior. What I did and wrote was law. Meaning if I wanted a 20 word post about the new pair of Pumas I just bought, there would be a 20 word post about the new Pumas.

BTH wasn't my site, if was/is my brother's and as such, no stupid personal shit, other than opinions of course. It was/is a pop culture centric site, and as such gave me a more specific vision with regards to my chosen topics. Also, since the purpose was to turn BTH into a money-making endeavor I strove to produce well thought out and many times thought provoking essays that might make people want to come back for more. I put time and effort in these articles thinking that people might actually read them and not wanting my writing to reflect poorly on my brother's venture. I think that it shows in my BTH content.

At BTH we published using Word Press. A hell of a lot easier than Front Page, but still no walk in the park. So when I left BTH, I wasn't compelled to start my own Word Press blog. Here I was, back to that old familiar.

Not too long ago, a friend of mine who was teaching as part of the Semester At Sea program directed me to his Blogger blog. I wasn't in the right mindset to have the necessary awakening until I happened upon a Huffing Post blogger by the name of Scott Mendelson who has a blogger site (Mendelson's Memos - my god, the alliteration is a thing of beauty), and it was at that point that it hit me to try setting up an account for myself.

And so I did.

And here we are.

This blog is going to be a hybrid of my two previous writing experiences, a mix of GP and BTH. Basically, this blog is just going to be a free for all of ideas, including personal anecdotes, with no particular theme, like GP, but less frivolous (my "Lenny's got a blog..." post notwithstanding) and (hopefully) more thoughtful, with a greater pop culture tinge, like BTH.

There were two on-going series/columns at BTH that I plan on continuing here at APFL. They were the "Guilty Pleasures or: IYDTYCEAD" a.k.a. "Guilty Pleasures or: If You Disagree, Then You Can Eat A Dick" series, and the "Oh Snap!" series, which never really got off the ground due to an article titling veto. But to be sure, my Little Miss Sunshine article is, at least in my mind, part of the "Oh Snap!" series.

Questions? Concerns? Comment below.

- Lenny

Addendum to "My name is Lenny, and these are my thoughts."

During the course of writing my previous entry, "My name is Lenny, and these are my thoughts," I was driven to seek out the availability of four more possible titles for this blog.

Three of them were in direct relation to "heresthething" which I explained was in real world scenarios more likely to start out "But here's the thing", "So here's the thing", or "Well here's the thing".

The fourth title I sought was more of an afterthought and had to do with my re-branding this site (though not really) APFL.

And here they are, and in reverse chronological order:

APFL [Taken] (going by the title "a place for loneliness") this blog is blank - Someone please help me up as I've just been knocked down by irony. Do you not see it? The "A Place for Loneliness" blog is blank, empty. If this was intentional, this person is my new hero, but I fear few people are touched by the level of genius this would require. At any rate, this url would have been nice to have just as backup. Oh well.

wellheresthething [Taken] last post was on 4/27/07 - It's too bad this one has been abandoned, I would have loved to read the promised "the million dollar idea that was ours first and some enterprising jerkface who actually does things is making OUR money" entry, but it has yet to come to fruition. Another reason for my lament at this blogs desertion, the girl of the boy/girl writing team had this to say of her cousin : "he is the boy, therefore he will take the rabid-monkey-dog-child perspective". C'est la vie.

soheresthething [Taken] last post was on 6/26/06 - This one was written by an Iraq stationed soldier. Hopefully his three year long absence isn't a result of what all you morbid fucks are thinking.

butheresthething [Was Available/Now Taken] - Shock and awe, this one was actually available, and now it's mine. But how much do I actually like it? More than APFL? I don't know. What to do, what to do?

- Lenny

My name is Lenny, and these are my thoughts

This being my very first entry (okay, so it's technically my second post, but the first one was a test more than anything else) on A Penny for Lenny I feel the need to get a little exposition out of the way...

If you haven't already figured it out, the title A Penny for Lenny is in reference to the saying "a penny for your thoughts". Well...my name is Lenny, and these are my thoughts.

That being said, I'm not in love with the title, and may very well end up changing it. So for now, consider it more of a place holder than anything else. I thought it might be fun to share the url's/blog titles I was considering prior to coining A Penny for Lenny, which will henceforth be referred to as APFL...

The following list is in reverse chronological order (meaning I just kept hitting the "back" button on my browser):
apennyforlenny [Was Available/Now Taken] - I'm utterly shocked that this one wasn't taken!
givemeapenny [Available] - I would have never actually used this one, but if it had been taken, using gimmeapenny would have been a bitch move.
gimmeapenny [Available] - Give who a penny? Me? Me as in Lenny? You want to give Lenny a penny? An actual penny for Lenny?
pennyforyourthoughts [Taken] (going by the title "oh what the hell...") last post was on 4/26/04- I didn't really want this one, but after pennyformythoughts was taken, I was curious.
pennyformythoughts [Taken] this blog is blank - This was the next logical step after mytwocents.
mytwocents [Taken] last post was on 3/4/01 - This title is cute, but a little ho-hum.
lennyslair [Taken] last post was on 9/30/06 - I was still desperately trying for some alliteration here, but no dice.
mindoflencia [Available] - I might have actually used this one if I thought more of the guy.
lennyslunchbox [Available] - Continuing my quest for alliteration, I still kinda like this one, but felt is was too reminiscent of the currently infamous Serious Lunch blog, which was behind the genius Conan O'Brien/Super Mario Bros. mashup.
lifeoflenny [Taken] this blog is blank - Alliterative? Yes. Catchy? Not so much.
lennyslaws [Available] - For some reason I came back to this one a second time. It still sounds good, but I just can't get past the douchyness of "laws", like my opinion is the end all and be all. Pssh, whatever.
moviemanifesto [Taken] last post was on 4/3/09 - This is probably the best title of the bunch, even though as I was typing "manifesto" I kept thinking unabomber.
iheartboobies [Taken] (going by the title "well...see...thats the thing...") this blog is blank - As it turns out, I do, in fact, heart boobies, and would have loved to have this one, but alas, twas not meant to be.
godspunchline [Taken] last post was on 8/31/06 - This title holds a special bit of nostalgia for me, as I used to own and write under the domain name WWW.GODSPUNCHLINE.COM. Fun fact: my old website is now a destination for erectile dysfunction medication purchases.
neverataloss [Taken] (going by the title "down in front!") this blog is blank - I'm generally quick with a quip, i.e. never at a loss, you know...for words. This would have been a natural fit.
whatnow [Taken] last post was on 8/13/05 - What now after not getting nowwhat?
nowwhat [Taken] last post was on 11/14/00 - I was momentarily stumped for a title, and after nobodycareswhatyouthink I thought now what?
nobodycareswhatyouthink [Taken] (going by the title "shut the fuck up") last post was on 11/17/04 - After nobodycares was taken I thought I'd get a little more specific, but someone already beat me to it. Of the few entries that I actually had the pleasure of reading from this long list of blogs, this one is by far my favorite. The guy is just articulate, almost poetic, in a way seldom seem in today's modern thinkers. A definite must read.
nobodycares [Taken] (going by the title "imaginewhatitistobeme") this blog is blank - I figured since nobody really cares what I think, why not be open about it.
laughingstock [Taken] last post was on 5/20/09 - I honestly don't even like this one, and I know would have never used it. As to why I bothered looking it, I couldn't tell you.
deepthoughts [Taken] (going by the title "musings of a part-time lunatic") last post was on 10/2/08 - Jack Handey's gonna be pisssssed!
lennyslaws [Available] - The first stop in my illustrious search for some alliteration.
afunnythinghappened [Taken] last post was on 6/30/04 - Due to my highly inflated opinion of my own sense of humor, I thought this title to be apropos.
heresthething [Taken] last post was on 6/14/04 - I, along with others, have observed that often times while arguing my point (i.e. telling someone else they're full of shit), I tend to lead off with these three simple yet highly effective words. Actually it's usually more along the lines of "but here's the thing," or "so here's the thing," or "well here's the thing". It can generally be taken as "golly, what a cute little opinion you have there, but now here's how it really is." What can I say, I'm a dick.
leonard [Taken] (going by the title "my links") last post was on 3/21/01 - I don't know what I would have called the blog itself, but after lenny was taken, it would have been kind of cool to have this one.
lenny [Taken] (going my the title "just a girl.") last post was on 3/30/01 - I wanted this one so bad. So bad. It would have been so awesome that the mere thought of the awesomeness was palpable. Don't know what I would have titled the blog itself though. And yeah, this particular Lenny is apparently a girl. Go figure.


So, there you have it, and welcome to APFL.

- Lenny

Lenny's got a blog...

...can the end of days be that far off?

No it can not.

- Lenny