Eight Years Ago Today…

…unspeakable events took place.

I haven’t forgotten.

Have you?

Site Update 9/11/09

So, if you’re a repeat visitor to this site, you’ll notice that I haven’t posted anything in a week. I can explain…the desktop publishing program I use to write these posts was giving me problems. I probably should have just tried restarting my computer, but I was determined to will it into working. Anyway, it’s working now, so I’ll be write more asinine ramblings soon. As for the Jeopardy Clue of the Day posts, I’ll probably just put all the ones I’ve missed the past few days into one post.

Hearts & Rainbows,
- Lenny

Jeopardy Clue of the Day for September 4th

Today’s Jeopardy (Tournament of Champions) Clue of the Day:

The $1200 clue from the Double Jeopardy round category TOUGH CAPITAL CITIES

“A FORMER SOVIET REPUBLIC: CHISINAU”

Answer:

“WHAT IS MOLDOVA?”

Zhe Muzarcountry! For real, there was no way this wasn’t going to be the COTD. Not only was I born in Moldova, but I was born in motherfucken Kishinev!!! Yes, Kishinev. I actually had to google that. Like “what the fuck is up with Jeopardy’s spelling”? But apparently this new “Chisinau” spelling is in vogue now. I’ve never been one to become attached to fads, so I’m sticking with the spelling I’ve known for low these many years.

- Lenny

Lenny Explains…A Sublime Lyric

They were playing a song between periods at the ice rink not too long ago and it got me thinking.

Vitals

Band: Sublime

Album: Sublime

Song: Wrong Way

Lyric:

“A cigarette rests between her lips
but I’m staring at her tits
it’s the wrong way”

Explanation

Bradley makes his best attempts at eye contact, trying to make a deep emotional connection in this superficial/“why are you talking to me” society, but she’s got this thing, this cigarette, resting between her lips. Ick. What a hideously disgusting habit, and it’s hanging right there in his line of sight. It’s just so distracting.

Despite his deepest desire, he can’t keep the eye contact that he so desperately craves. The eye contact that could possibly unite them as one, but it would be rude to look away. And staring up at the ceiling would just be odd. So he does the next best thing…he points his eyes south of the distraction, so that at least he’s still looking at her.

And that my friends is why “it’s the wrong way”.

As is usually the case with most things in life, it’s the woman’s fault.

So there you have it.

- Lenny

Jeopardy Clue of the Day for September 3rd

Today’s Jeopardy (Tournament of Champions) Clue of the Day:

The $400 (video) clue from the Jeopardy round category OMAHA BEACH

“HOURS BEFORE HIS TROOPS STORMED THESE SHORES, HE TOLD THEM “YOU ARE ABOUT TO EMBARK ON THE GREAT CRUSADE TOWARDS WHICH WE HAVE STRIVEN THESE MANY MONTHS””

Answer:

“WHO IS EISENHOWER?”

Yeah! Fuck yeah! Lets go kill us some nazis!!!

Bonus Jeopardy (Tournament of Champions) Clue of the Day:

The $600 clue from the Jeopardy round category MYTHS & LEGENDS

“OVID COINED THE NAME OF THIS GREEK GOD OF DREAMS AS AN ALLUSION TO THE FORMS SEEN IN DREAMS”

Answer:

“WHAT IS MORPHEUS?”

Morpheus? Morpheus! Oh those wily Wachowskis!

- Lenny

Jeopardy Clue of the Day for September 2nd

Today’s Jeopardy (Tournament of Champions) Clue of the Day:

The $800 clue from the Double Jeopardy round category HOW’S YOUR LATIN?

“LITERALLY “RARE BIRD”, IT’S USED TODAY TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING VERY UNUSUAL”

Answer:

“WHAT IS RARA AVIS ?”

Used today? Used by who? I’ve never heard it used once. What snooty jackass goes around saying “rara avis”? '”My that coat of yours is so rara avis!” “That accent you have is remarkably rara avis.” “It’s so rara avis of you to be showing me your breasts when I haven’t even plied you with alcohol yet.” On second thought, maybe it’s not such a bad phrase.

- Lenny

Jeopardy Clue of the Day for September 1st

Today’s Jeopardy (Tournament of Champions) Clue of the Day:

The $800 clue from the Jeopardy round category OTHER PLACES TO GAMBLE

“THIS ILLINOIS TOWN HAS A STATUE OF SUPERMAN AS WELL AS A CASINO”

Answer:

“WHAT IS METROPOLIS?”

There’s a town called Metropolis?!! Does it border Gotham City?? How am I only hearing about this now? I must move there – TODAY!

- Lenny

Jeopardy Clue of the Day for August 31st

Today’s Jeopardy (Tournament of Champions) Clue of the Day:

The $1000 clue from the Jeopardy round category ALSO A VEGAS CASINO

“A COUPLE OF OWLS”

Answer:

“WHAT ARE HOOTERS?”

Few things in life take me back like this clue just has…

I once wrote something for 12th grade English class entitled “An Ode to Hooters: A Poem” (though I wasn’t talking about owls or casinos).

Then a year or so later, during my freshman year at CSUN, an MTV crew came to campus and was filming remotes for Loveline. I was filmed reciting my poem for Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Pinsky, as well as their guest on the night it aired, the musician Poe.

That clip of me on Loveline was selected as a highlight for Talk Soup, hosted by John Henson at the time. (As a sidenote, I did some work in Henson’s house a few years back and recited the poem for him, but he didn’t remember it.)

According to a friend, this same clip was then chosen as one of the year’s best on Talk Soup’s year end blowout show. This last accolade I can’t say that I myself bore witness to, so I shall label it “alleged”.

Everything else I written here is complete truth. Aside from the few and far between locker-room recitations, the poem is, for all intents and purposes, retired.

Bonus Jeopardy (Tournament of Champions) Clue of the Day:

The $200 clue from the Jeopardy round category CHALLENGING THE BARTENDER

“BARKEEP, IF YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF A MOSCOW MULE YOU CAN PROBABLY STILL GUESS THIS IS ITS PRIMARY LIQUOR”

Answer:

“WHAT IS VODKA?”

Ah Vodka, she is a cruel mistress.

- Lenny