Jeopardy Clue of the Day for August 20th

Today’s Jeopardy (College Championship) Clue of the Day:

The $600 clue from the Jeopardy round category POP GOES THE CATEGORY

“HIS RETURN TO BICYCLE RACING TOOK A FALL WHEN HE FELL & WAS INJURED DURING A RACE IN MARCH 2009”

Answer:

“WHO IS LANCE ARMSTRONG?”

Fell on what? His one good testicle!? I think that if you’re walking around with only one nad, you should maybe take a little better care of it. Use a little more caution you know. Maybe don’t go anywhere without wearing the bottom half of a suit of armor. Or at the very least a cast-iron codpiece. Not cram it into a pair of shorts so tight they make an Asian nun’s vagina jealous, only to then be followed by repeatedly bouncing up and down on it in an apparent attempt to rupture it between his taint and a bike seat.

I don’t know, call me crazy.

What’s next? Is he gonna take the stage at a feminist rally and ask “what do you say to a woman with two black eyes”? If you don’t know the punchline to that, email me. I’ll respond right after I, merely as a precaution, slip into my titanium jock (not being facetious here either, I actually have a titanium jock).

Honestly, that motherfucker Lance Armstrong needs to be like Gollum and treat that nut like it’s his precious.

- Lenny